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Friday, June 13, 2008

13th June 2008

Dear Viewer,
These few day, I was thinking about what is really love called? And who do I really love. To reaffirm I am a perfectly normal person. Suddenly, just thought of the person. Urging to do well in exam. Thoughts of the first smile from the face, teaching me how to write and colour. P1, smile to me and was in the same chinese class, the only year. But I gave the irritating attitude. Why? I have no idea. I never learn to smile to people until I ponder on the smile on his face. Why is there a need to smile? Beats me too! Recalling in the same group as him during P5 Camp, I have never notice him so much. Neptune. I'm sitting near him, talking to him. Bad attitudes I gave him. So sorry. The Camp T-shirt , I wore it still.
Gradually, I grown this special feeling, Which I ddin't realise until recent. The only person who I urge to talk to, careful with my own words and languages, hoping for another the smile. Hope to capture the smile from the face into my memory.
Recently, in msn, trying to talk to him, no reply. Could be busy, but I didn't wait. There were times when he talk to me, I only talk a bit, how I wished I could find some topic to start of. He offer me chewing gum, I didn't take, Why? He's staying until very late tonight. He's always so busy. How I wished I could be in the same school as he is if only my mind could stop thinking of playing and focus on study.
It's never too late to try! I will changed for the sake of him! Just waiting for my birthday to come soon, wonder what will he be doing. Whether he's free or not.
No point keeping looking inside the shop of her aunt own, no use. He's not going to be there, never and ever. He hated in there.
I desire for him.

Okays, today events. I went out with Mr Ng Yen Chuan to study in the library. No, practically should be studying, but he dosen't seem to be focusing much, so , we end up in the cinema watching Incredible Hulk. Stupid Hulk. So noisy. I thought I would be deaf anytime. At first, he wanted to play arcade but I kind of don't feel like playing. The show, generally alright but I wasn't enjoying much because I am slacking. The one hour plus, I could have done other things. Make use of my time. Being slacking for english, it's time for me refilled with enthusiastic. For the sake of he who i desire to have. When I slack, I stop to think of him, why? Cause I know I have led him down by not working harder. You're super. But I'm such a loser.
Okays, by the time I board the bus, it's about 5. And guess what, I saw one of my PS classmates. Mano. O, He grew so much, so much taller and some piercing. Piercing somewhere near his chin. So many people changed. Nah, It's time for me to do some daring stuff, but he who I desire hold me back from doing so. I want good reputation.
But piercing look so cool. Look like a gangster. So cool.

Actually, I was suppose to go to anna house to do account but then end up she's not free. But luckily I'm not there, cause it is a waste of time. I will always end up doing only one or two question and she will went on to play her instrument and play neopets. Kind of distracting. I was also suppose to meet Firdaus out but in the end, i didn't sms him and choose to entertain mushuang first. I wanted to repaired my phone but I scared other people will not be able to connect to me. Just waiting for some surprise day, he will be the one smsing me instead of me smsing him.

In Fact to love someone is still give him/her your blessing. Watching from afar, waiting something miracles will happen. You need not to own the person, however, if you own the person, you may not have the same feeling as before. The feeling is gone forever and ever.

Just wondering what he will be working as when he grow up. If he's a doctor, I will be a nurse. If he's a lawyer, I will work as a secretary. If he's some businessman, I will study IT and work under his company. Whatever place he went, I will always be there.
And Yes. The SWAY song is freaking nice. Thanks daphne. Hahas.


*** He Who I Desire***

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